. and we keep this beat (with blistered feet) .

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 08:44:32 GMT

[Filter: Tessa]

You know, I really am glad that you're feeling better, and that you realize it's time to leave. I think it's very responsible of you to assess the situation, so.

Do you need any help with your things? I was hoping to have the carriage loaded by tomorrow, so everything is ready for departure on Monday, if you don't think that's too early.

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:11:04 GMT

[Filter: Caroline]

Finally.

I do think that she's serious about this. Lady Caitlin finally must have gotten through to her. I suppose I shouldn't have been quite so critical in my judgements of how long she was taking ... she had more results than I did ...

I'm so eager to get home. I can't tell you how much I want to finally start on real, concrete wedding preparations. I'm far too old to still be unmarried.

I can't even say what a fantastic mood this had put me in. Dragons, I was beginning to think I'd been caught in a bubble of time, and we would be here forever.

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 07:13:56 GMT

[Filter: Private]

I don't know.

Is it indecent to pry into women's business, like this? It is for Therese, and for me, and for all of our family. I'm not doing something wrong.

There's no reason to feel embarrased like this.

[Filter: Lady Caitlin]

I don't mean to push, really, but -- might I ask if you've spoken to Therese, yet? She hasn't seemed much better, of late, and I simply was wondering ...

If there just hasn't been the right moment, yet, then please, ignore me and continue looking for the opportunity.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:32:47 GMT

[Filter: Private]

Tessa ...

I know what it is you're doing. Do you think that I cna't see it? That I don't know that you're only trying to draw out something that should have ending a long time ago?

It's not --

I'm not a heartless man. I don't ... it's not as if ... ~~what happened did not just affect you, is all, and after all of this long, giving you what you need to recover, can you not, for one moment, try and give me what I~~

...

No, I can't let you just manipulate me like this. It's not ...

If my father had better controlled my mother, we could have avoided all of this. It's my responsibility, as his heir, to learn from his mistakes.

No more delays, Therese. I'm sorry.

[Filter: Lady Caitlin]

My lady. Might I take a moment of your time? There's a matter I think we need to discuss.

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 03:13:23 GMT

[Filter: Private]

... Tessa knows our time here is running short. I can see it around her eyes, the way that she looks at everything wistfully.

I don't -- I don't see why she just can't be happy coming home. It's been ... it's been a long time, since what happened. It's gotten so easy to just never think about it. Why can't she manage to do the same?

Why --

Will it ... be so bad, living with me, marrying me? There will be more children, and Kerrigan ...

Kerrigan was always a ghost. I just can't see why it's not ... why she can't ... ... it doesn't matter. She doesn't have a choice. She can't holiday from the world forever, and it would do her more harm than good to let her. She's mourned. Now she's just dwelling.

Life does go on.

I, for one, am ecstatic to put this place behind me.

[Filter: Caroline]

Well, I think it's safe to say that we're finally coming to a place where we'll be able to leave, and soon.

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 06:43:13 GMT

[Filter: Private]

It appears that I should have spoken to Lord Peter months ago.

Maybe now, we can leave. At the very least, there's nothing preventing it, anymore. Surely someone will suggest it soon. Laurel will finally grow homesick, Lady Caitlin will become tired with entertaining, Lord Peter will dismiss us. Something.

Would be that I could just send us off myself, but ...

... I can't hurt her, not personally, not ... not again. ~~When all lines are drawn, Kerrigan's birth was my fault, even if her death was not, and~~

No use thinking of such things. Not after I've done so well until now.

[Filter: Tessa]

Well, my love! Apparently, Lord Quinn has just put the finishing touches on the portrait, and invites us to go view it. What do you say?

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 05:44:18 GMT

[Filter: Private]

Enough is enough.

[Filter: Lord Peter]

My lord. While it is not my intention to cause trouble for your son, I have been promised by him several times that the painting he is working on is nearly done, and he continues to miss the deadlines he sets for himself.

I realize that it seems petty for me to complain, when he is doing us such a kind service by honouring us with his considerable talent, there is a certain amount of ... bad blood, between House Nallen and House Bresa. Your wife's considerable kindess towards Therese has certainly done wonders for healing that, but I cannot help but begin to think that this is an intentional slight.

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 06:08:37 GMT

[Filter: Lord Quinn]

Lord Quinn.

I have wrestled with trying to passively and subtley imply what I want to say next, but I have decided that I refuse to be a woman about this. I will be forthright, however unpleasantly belligerent that it may seem. Allow me to assure you in advance, it is not my intention to be impolite, and I do apologize if I come across as unneccessarily harsh.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:40:14 GMT

[Filter: Private]

One obstacle dealt with.

Damn, but she's irritating. How can it possibly bring one human being joy to bait another like that? I can't imagine how she and Therese are sisters. How could one be so gentle while the other is so -- insufferable.

I refuse to play her games, no matter how hard she tries.

[Filter: Lady Eliza]

My lady, allow me to say that I did very much enjoy our previous conversation.

Do you have a moment? There's something I'd like to discuss with you, if you are open to it.

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 20:09:49 GMT

[Filter: Private]

I refuse to wait for this marriage any longer.

All of what's happened has happened because I'm nearly thirty years old and have not yet managed to stand before two priests. I can see no end to this, not so long as we keep waiting for the perfect wedding. The stars are never going to align on their own.

If I'm going to sit here, smiling and smalltalking day after day with people I despise, I should be using this time to ensure that the wait won't be any longer.

As much as it pains me to even breathe a word to the woman, she is Therese's sister, and will need to be at the wedding. She's one of the current obstacles.

[Filter: Philippa]

Might I ask a candid question?

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 23:32:45 GMT

[Filter: Therese, Lord Quinn]

If it's not a bother, I'd very much like to get some work done on the portrait, today. You've been making such progress, Lord Quinn, and I am eager to see the eventual results. I hope neither of you have any reservations?

This rain does make it ideal.

Sun, 31 May 2009 15:10:19 GMT

[Filter: Princess Seraphine]

Ah, Princess.

It had only now occured to me that I have been incredibly rude by not contacting you directly, despite knowing in the back of my mind that you wrote in these pages. With my absence from the capital at this important time, surely this is the least I can do.

I apologize for not being in Eblar to enjoy the festivities of your return. I hope that my sister and brother have represented by family adequately for all of us.

If there's anything I can do for you ...?

Thu, 07 May 2009 00:01:39 GMT

[Filter: Private]

At least I was completely honest with her. Nothing underhanded. Nothing deceptive. Just an honest asessement of the situation and perhaps an implicit invitation.

... Laurel will never see it that way, though. She's too sweet and weak-natured. Really, I can't imagine where she gets that, but it will make her a very good bride when she's old enough to start thinking about such things.

For now, though, it's just ... irritating. I'm the only one here who doesn't want to be here. What I wouldn't do for a little of Patrick's venom right now.

Sigh. Self control.

... harder to maintain these days. Haha, I suppose it just goes to show, it all comes out somewhere. I

[Filter: Caroline]

I suppose the capital is lovely, all Rowan dogs aside?

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 04:21:17 GMT

[Filter: Private]

I really can't believe I'm considering doing this. Being here is good for Tessa, and Laurel is happy, and it's helping to repair dangerously frayed relations, and I am not a deceptive person.

That is what my mother does, what she has always done.

I'm appalled Caroline even suggested it.

I --

No, I will not play a woman's games. I will address things openly and honestly. Laurel is old enough to understand. So long as Tessa doesn't find out ... ~~I can't stand to be the one to have hurt her ag~~

... I am so selfi

[Filter: Laurel]

Are you enjoying your visit, Laurel?

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 08:19:24 GMT

[Filter: Private]

I so badly want to go home.

[Filter: Quinn]

We're sorry to have taken so long deciding, Lord Quinn, but Therese and I would be very honoured to have you do our portrait. Thank you kindly for the offer, once again.

[Filter: Tessa]

Ah, darling, tell me. Has this been ... good, for you, so far? This visit?

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 01:00:17 GMT

[Filter: Private]

It's a very ... generous offer. Lord Quinn is one of the best painters in Dentoria, at the moment, yet because of his station, no one dares ask him for commissions, especially not portraits.

A very generous offer.

[Filter: Therese]

What do you think of this?

If we're going to do it, we should decide soon. We can't stay here forever, and --

[a large inkblot]

[Filter: Caroline]

Dragons, Carrie, I'm sorry. I completely lost track of the date.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:37:13 GMT

[Filter: Private]

Bresa.

How did allow myself to be days away from Bresa, again, after this? The worst part is, I still haven't atoned for anything, even with a sacrifice as big as this.

I just want to get through this with as little embarrasment as possible. The fewer people who know we're on this trip, the better, though word will get out soon enough ...

Perhaps there's an offer of peace coming, after all. We can't accept anything less than a full apology, of course, but wouldn't that be wonderful?

Poor Therese does look terribly pale.

[Filter: Therese]

Are you quite warm enough, darling?

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:37:33 GMT

[Filter: Private]

~~Perhaps I was~~

...

[Filter: Therese]

Tessa ...

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 09:45:20 GMT

[Filter: Private]

[the writing is considerably messier than usual]

Why does she even feel the need to ask. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? What about this isn't just fine?

... life goes on. It doesn't stop and wait for us to ...

I'm fine.

[the writing steadies after this point]

[Filter: Caroline]

I had a thought, today, sister.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:06:58 GMT

[Filter: Private]

Nothing has really changed. Nothing ... nothing has really even happened, has it? Haha. Reality is so fluid.

None of it matters. Not a bit.

[Filter: Therese]

I was speaking to Mother this morning and she had the thought that perhaps your gown for the wedding could have fine Megami lace on it. Now, we know that it's expensive, and we wouldn't want to dip too deeply into the coffers, but I thought it would be appropriate, considering that this is likely to be a very public wedding, with the image you and I have, and it's an expensive I'm willing to take.

Mother thought it would suit what the two of you had already decided on for your dress. She thought I should ask you about it.

I think it's a good idea, personally.

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 03:15:27 GMT

[Filter: Private]

Haha, what do you even write?

Dear Diary, today I got exactly what I wanted.

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:43:18 GMT

[Filter: Private]

As if it could possibly be so urgent and important that

[Filter: Lord Keifer, Lord Glenn]

I ... apologize for my extended delay. I should reach our rendevous point in roughly an hour. Please prepare my brother.

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:46:34 GMT

[Filter: Lord Keifer]

I ... write to you because I trust you can be more reasonable about all of this than your brother. I've come to the realization that you're there with him. I wish I could have had more of my negotiations with you all along.

I just want to know how my brother is.

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 08:52:09 GMT

Th

Why wasn't I informed that you'd found him?! I just got a letter from Eblar! I've been

Where are you and is he safe?!

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 19:01:38 GMT

[Filter: Private]

I want to see her. I want to know that she's not going to

I asked for this, didn't I? I deserve this. This is my punishment. I'm going to lose her, and lose Patrick. The baby as well, though perhaps the joke is on the Dragons, in that case. But then who is next? Caroline? Laurel? Father or Mother?

No, not Mother. Korin would melt before anything could drag her to hell, even to punish someone like me.

... the only thing I can do, then.

[Filter: Lord Tarmon]

I believe it's time we exchanged some words, you and I.